I don’t really set goals. I kind of just float along until I find something that really interests me and then go for it. But I’d like to be a little more consistent moving forward.
So I was trying to read online about how to set goals for myself when I cam across these articles:
- An Almost Foolproof Way to Achieve Every Goal You Set – Jeff Haden, inc.com
- Goals vs. Systems – Scott Adams Blog
- Forget About Setting Goals. Focus on This Instead – James Clear
- Why you should focus on habits and systems, not goals – Belle Beth Cooper, crew.co
Basically they all kind of say the same thing: Don’t set goals because you can’t control that. Instead focus on developing repeatable processes (systems) which in time will hopefully turn into habits, or actions you do on autopilot without having to think about it.
I’ve never really sat down and evaluated what my big dreams are or what I’d really like to do. So I sat down and wrote out a few minor and major goals/habits I’d like to cultivate in my life.
Here are some of the little ideas I was toying around with:
- Get better at doing my hair.
- Get better at doing my makeup.
- Eat more vegetables.
- Work out more, get more activity in my daily routine.
- Stop biting my nails.
- Write more.
- Find a new organization or community to volunteer with.
- Start composting in our apartment.
- Go on a vacation by myself.
- Learn how to knit better.
- Journal more
And some bigger goals:
- Build my own tiny house or chalet in the mountains in a forested area, like Colorado, Idaho or somewhere in the Pacific Northwest
- Learn to speak Spanish
- Write children’s books about our greyhound, Charlotte.
- Learn how to design and sell knitting patterns.
- Consider finding a way to make money selling wine candles, aromatherapy diffusers, or knitted items on Etsy.
Also because I know that our brains can be super lazy don’t like doing new or foreign things, I watched this TEDxSF Talk to motivate myself: How to stop screwing yourself over | Mel Robbins
I like how Mel Robbins said to be honest about your true motivation.
Just saying I don’t want to bite my nails isn’t hitting close enough to home. What I really want is to stop being embarrassed every time I have to show my hands in public. Or the real reason I want to get better at doing my hair and makeup is so I don’t feel so intimated by other girls who look nicer than me.
Those don’t sound like very “noble” reasons, but they are the real reasons I want to change those behaviors.
I can’t work on all my goals at once but I have decided on a few I can work on a little everyday and develop systems for them. For instance, my biggest barrier at the moment getting to the gym is that it’s just not a normal part of my routine. I think instead if I can get up in the morning and go first thing I’ll be able to build it into my day.
I also have a tendency when I do goto the gym to not pace myself. I don’t pay attention to my body, heart rate or pain levels. But if my long-term goal (system) is to be more active, then I need to learn to be mindful of my body and pace myself.
I want to finally be fluent in Spanish too. I always have. So I started using Duolingo again and have set a goal of earning 50xp points on their website everyday. It’s not a crazy huge amount, but its enough for me to do everyday because I’m thinking about the long-term, not just the short-term.
And then I also have my more important personal systems/goals that I want to continue to focus on such as practicing mindfulness meditation, reading more books related to codependency and self-improvement, incorporating more self-care activities into my daily routine, and in general just learning more about me as a person.
I realize that I may start trying out some of these activities and decide I don’t want to do them anymore or I just fail at them altogether. The great thing about that though is I can still learn from the experience and use that knowledge to do something different in the future. But if I never try in the first place, I’ll never know.